Is 50 really the new 40?

The Life challenges we face when aging!

UGH! Those wrinkles and crow’s feet! Really? Sigh…

Because I really wonder sometimes … I have to admit that when I look at my face, Ugh,  I wish I was 40 years old all over again and even more 30 !!! So that’s why I am wondering if 50 is the new 40. Because inside of me for real, when I say that I feel like 22 years old, most of the time it’s true, except when I see my face in the mirror… Then I jump, it’s like a slap in the face, call it what you want!

Shit I hate aging, it is so ungrateful, and I know that I am not alone thinking like that, and yes it is superficial to think about this, because it’s a privilege to age ( and especially when your friend who is sick writes to you, right the next morning when you wrote this article to put it on your blog, that she wants to see you, and that with everything that is happening at the moment in the world with the #blacklivesmatter, there are more serious matters than looking at your little person and saying to yourself that you don’t like what you see in the mirror!

That’s why it took me at least 1 month before publishing it on my blog-wow long explanation 😊). Anyway, I know all that, but that doesn’t stop me from having a shock every time, it’s as if my interior doesn’t “fit” with my exterior … but hey!

I am reflecting on this because I had my first experience at making a makeup video (tutorial) to put on my blog or my Insta account but ishhhh shoot I don’t like myself … for sure I’m probably scared of criticism … there will always be people to criticize, jealous people who have nothing else better to do than shame talk.

Of course I have lots of adjustments to make, like learn about the lighting, the angle of my camera on my Iphone … I watch makeup artists on YouTube and Instagram all day long (ok I’m exaggerating here but I know quite a bit about it) and I wonder how they do it! I find them all beautiful! So of course I question myself! My bestie said to me: “I would like to see how to do make up on a 50 years+ face.”

After watching my 1st video I wonder: Is there really an interest for this?

Between watching a beautiful young woman with beautiful almost perfect skin and beautiful plumped lips apply makeup on and the result being really beautiful because she has no puffy eyes nor dark circles or creases, why would anyone follow me? I know I said with me “what you see is what you get”! But hey, I had a reality check believe me!!!

I think I am afraid of putting myself out there if I can say: my face without filter or make up in plain sight. Fear of criticism and haters! Because suffice is to say, hearing yourself talking is not fun! We never like to hear our voice so to see yourself on video!! It’s even worse!!!!  It’s not that I am not able to go out in public without makeup, far from it! Especially since COVID ahahah! But still, we always want to be at our best (didn’t you notice it’s always in those times, when you don’t fix yourself up and don’t care but you hope you will not see anyone you know … well forget about it, it’s always when you’ll see the most people AHAH).

So in my despair or my dismay looking at myself on video, I asked my boyfriend: my god, do you I really look like this in real life? On which he replied: “Honey, videos are just in 2D, it doesn’t reflect the same dimension as in real life, plus we can’t feel all of your personality! Don’t get discouraged! This is what will make your difference! You’re real, they’re going to see a real woman! “

And it’s not that I criticize cosmetic surgeries because if I had more cash, I would like to have my under eyes’ bags removed and you know, fix my face a little, without looking fake of course! And I dream about fuller lips! When I was young, Lisa Bonnet was my idol! I dreamed of having her skin color, of having her face’s “features” and her superb mouth! I wanted to BE her

By the way, she his Lenny Kravitz’s ex and Jason Momoa’s current girlfriend or wife 😊😊😊. Damn! I didn’t know back then. She played in The Cosby Show and was like 16 years old. I understand why I envied her now! Ahahahah!

So all that to think about how the standards of society or the beauty standards are imprinted in us …so bare with me,  it’s a “work in progress”, I practice, I’m organizing my room with the lighting and the mirrors but at some point, I will take the leap …

Finally, my question is: Is 50 really the new 40 when it comes to our standards and / or perceptions, the ideals of society? Anyway, I know that when we look at pictures of when we were young, people at 50 didn’t look like what we look today, no hard feelings here, don’t mean to be mean or anything.

I think it’s just a question of fashion, attitude, and assertiveness!

So for now, I will wait a bit and practice ok? 😊😊😊

P.S.: After hesitating for 1 month, I decided to publish it.

Marie-Claude Painchaud

The Bookishly not always Glamorous Hihi!